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The Heart of Desire


by Stella Resnick, PhD


What really makes it so difficult to achieve a relationship that is both emotionally and sexually gratifying? 


In The Heart of Desire, a book that will forever change how you think about love and sex, clinical psychologist and sex therapist Stella Resnick, PhD, draws on cutting-edge research to explore this love-lust dilemma and to show how early programming can inhibit sexual desire as lovers become committed partners and begin treating each other less like lovers and more like family.

Resnick’s revolutionary ten-step body-mind program offers valuable skills for enhancing romantic love, sexual aliveness, and your natural capacity to enjoy emotionally fulfilling sexual pleasure.

ISBN: 978-0-470-58235-0

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Praise for The Heart of Desire

“A delightfully readable book, full of wise advice and practical exercises, about how to be a better lover using your heart as well as your body parts.”

—Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Prime

“This full-spectrum approach is sure to help many couples unite affection with erotic passion at any stage of life.”

—Gina Ogden, PhD, author of The Return of Desire

“Resnick's calming explanations of how to bring back the playfulness and sex to any relationship are a must read for anyone."

—Arianne Cohen, author of The Sex Diaries Project

“A unique approach to understanding and revitalizing pleasure and sexual vitality.”

—Barry McCarthy, PhD, author of Rekindling Desire

Contrary to popular opinion, words are not the mainstay of intimacy. The most profoundly fulfilling intimacies for adults are those that are the rooted in the body and are similar to the primal needs we were born with: Empathic Touch, Eye Contact, and Kissing. I think of these as the ABCs of a deep intimacy - a primal intimacy - the sine qua non of loving, sensual sex.


Romance is a critical factor in maintaining sexual desire in an intimate relationship and a part of our erotic nature. Research shows that how two people look at each other, talk to each other, even bob and sway with each other are all implicit triggers, intricately woven into the sex drive that can stimulate erotic interest, focus, and arousal.

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